Yesterday I decided to give God praise. Not just an ordinary "Hallelujah" or "thank you Jesus." But genuine praise that manifests itself through living that brings Him glory. This declaration came as a result of six difficult weeks. I've had very little time to care for myself, communicate with other adults or stay up on current events. I've been busy doing what many women have done and are doing, caring for my family. You have to know by now how serious I take this assignment. I really believe that this is one of the things I was created to do. So, with that said let me tell you about these two terrorists living in my house. One has hijacked my sleep and the other is running away with my peace. My body has adjusted to the few hours of sleep I get each night. However, I'm still trying to adjust to the behavior of '"a daddy loving, TANTRUM throwing, bossy but totally adorable two year old." She can sniff out anything-the old stuff embedded in the carpet, the sharp objects I'm sure I placed beyond her reach, and even the things I want to remain lost. I believe if given a little assistance she could sniff out Ossama. The sleep hijacker has found all of the best times to demand my attention. She sounds her personal alarm during the first five minutes of my conversation with any adult, seemingly non stop between the hours of 2 AM and 5 AM and just as I finish laundry and am ready to nap. Others have fought similar wars and have given advice like "sleep when the baby sleeps" and "this is not the time to introduce anything new to your toddler." All great advice I'm sure just not very effective with my terrorists. I realized just this week that the troops aren't coming and if aid arrives it won't be in time. So, yesterday I put; a praise on my lips, a song in my heart and sent up more prayers than you could imagine. What I got back was my peace and an unexplainable joy. Let me share what the Lord is teaching me through my domestic terrorists.
The peace stealer loves her daddy and is above all totally devoted to him. She's vocal about her love for him. She can't get enough time in his presence and is willing to drop everything when he walks through the door. She's not willing to commit her loyalty to anyone or anything else at this point. Daddy is it! Last night as I watched her leap several feet into the air as he walked in it suddenly struck me that God desires the same loyalty and devotion from me. I can see, if only for a minute the stress drain from my husband's body as he lifts her into his arms and looks into her ever adoring eyes. How much more does my Father delight to be in my presence. When I am fixed and focused on him and committed to obeying him I experience a peace and refreshment that can't be taken, not even by the little terrorists in my house.
The sleep hijacker is totally dependent upon us. She understands her role as baby and does it well. I have learned a thing or two from her over the past few weeks. For instance, God owns everything and promises to supply all of my needs. However, I continue to place unnecessary concern into how provision for my life will be made. We have everything my little one needs; food, diapers, clothing, etc. We don't withhold anything-we supply it. Summer makes her request and then trusts we'll provide it. In fact, she is absolutely sure that we can meet all of her needs. From jelly beans to snow, she is sure her earthly father can provide it. Sometimes she waits patiently for her request to be fulfilled at other times she's not so patient. When she is positive and pleasant we are much more willing to grant her request. We're even willing to duplicate it if she expresses gratitude. I have learned that our heavenly Father is willing to do much more for us.
My motherhood journey has really just begun and I am absolutely certain I will learn much more than I will teach either of them. I'm also sure that through this experience I will come to know my Savior in a more real and intimate way.
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